Wednesday. Midweek. Working intensely these days to be able to take half of Thursday and Friday off. The other two are moving so I was thinking I’d stand around drinking wine watching them carry their stuff around.
The weekend was great, as expected. I put my best foot forward as usual, the sun actually came out and we left the party (fairly) early. By (fairly) early I mean we didn’t stay to see the sun rise. It’s quite a crazy crowd. Who get crazier when they get together. Not that I’m better. Worse, probably.
Anyways.
Felt like I needed an extra confidenceboost and give a big Fuck you to my inner voices, so I went Frida Kahlo on the whole tropical theme.
What a woman. A woman of true grit. Larger than life, living fearlessly honest. With passion and drive, complicated love, open about her demons and aware of herself and the way she wanted to live her life.. Which I can relate to. Admire at the least. How ever composed I try to be at times, I do own the whirlwind of a woman that I really am. Like we heard in a movie once that resonated with the little one as a description of me; a woman cloaked in thunder.
I liked it.
Obviously intended to make hair ornament out of fresh flowers. Then again who has that kind of time. Bought some cheap plastic ones and tried to ignore for the entire evening that bullshit elastic band around my head. What am I, a child?
Embarrassing.
Maybe it was made for children..? Who cares.
I did, that’s who. But I’m over it now that the whole thing is over.
Ever graceful.
Packed wine according to how much weight I could carry, and off to the party.
(Also brought my self-made freckles because they’re so fucking cute)
Feeling extremely uncomfortable in my own skin these days ( read; fat. Yes, my eating disorder is still happening and is something I deal with and ignore on a daily basis. I am personally convinced I’ll have to for the rest of my life, and get quite agitated when people tell me otherwise), which resulted in me practically gulping down my wine. Because through carefully and at times quite painfully practicing the elimination method I’ve found this is the easiest, and worst, way to survive the present when the present is a bit shite. There’s no meditating the present away. Sorry. No time for mindfulness when you have social anxiety up to your elastic fucking band, possibly made of and for children, and have to meet and greet fifty people you haven’t seen in about nine years.
But I got away with it without any scandals. Other than a few small (I’ll say, but then again I’m cloaked in thunder) charming improprieties, topping the whole thing off with an actual couples dance of swing..! Which I thought was hilarious. I’d never do a dance class myself. No matter how impressed I was. I would just, never. Not even for our wedding we did. Just, no. Great fun though! When drunk. Channeling Frida Kahlo. Sure she’d enjoy it as well.
I had a great time! Really. And the best of times always comes when newly experienced pain I find. The contrast is exhilarating. Intoxicating.
Happy Wednesday to you, take comfort in that the worst is over and it’s hopefully downhill from here!
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Oh you look gorgeous, light and summery!
I swear becoming an adult is just developing a fuckton of coping mechanisms; we really are our own worst enemies. You’re stronger than you know though, you won’t feel that way forever.
Go take on the world. Be a Frida. x
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I have to say your blog is great and you might be stronger than me when it comes to knowing that you can’t change everything also for me meditating doesn’t always get the job done but runing and listening to aurora does somehow I’m with you on this one 🙄
Running work’s wonders on me too!
Great look Viktoria, reminds me of my trips to Sweden for the Midsummer Celebrations around the 21st June. Totally love the look of the “flickor” with their heads adorned with flowers. An amazing look and you definitely do the look justice. Whilst I realise it was for a totally different celebration. Beautiful.
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oh yeah swing it hard ! nothing is greater to “hop the lindy” when the party boils and all are well drunk away the super-ego… best remambrances ! 😉
I know, right? Laugh out loud, spill your drink! The foxtrot or the charleston on the other hand, that’s something different than what I was doing.. haha. That I wish I could do <3
haha right right 😀 but you only need two routines to rock the dancefloor and thats the solo and the tandem charleston in comb it always looks good, even when you’re well trashed… once learned you always prepared for wrecking the house 😉 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SObobkfbzQE
True! Gotta get those moves in..