Internet always goes off the wall when celebrities give speeches or stand up together to bring awareness to an issue. Either it’s feminism, racism, terrorism, sexuality or sexism. Which is SO important obviously. Only weird thing is, for me, and what makes me personally never join the circus is that there’s always a crazy storm –everyone’s talking about it, but then it seldom really changes anything..? At least I feel that way. Not that they should ever ever stop obviously, don’t get me wrong. In a dream-world we would always have these topics at the top of our heads. But that’s impossible and would definitely keep us from living our lives happily. So it’s important to make noise when something so relatable and big happens. But those media-storms always makes me fear that people stop taking it seriously. Because people get sick of hearing it. Sick of Instagram flooded with hashtags, je suie Charlie’s and #Pray for’s.
I know I do.
I also know, I’m quite the cynic. So feel free to not pay attention to anything I’m saying. But! Point is: this hashtag actually made me hashtag myself.
Because this has affected my life in a huge manner. Even my hashtag on Instagram left almost only comments on my looks and not how sad it is that #metoo. And it’s so sweet of you to compliment me, I love a good compliment, but.. Read my point please 🙂 This movement, if you will, is about exposing the scale of sexual assault and harassment and started with some women speaking up about being assaulted by the pig of a man and movie produser Harvey Weinstein. Classic story of abuse from a person that has a lot of power and ranks high on the social status “score-list” (or whatever I should call it). This is an especially shocking story because so many people were affected by it, is was so well known but never spoken about.
Again, classic story.
Even this guy’s a victim of sexual harassment in the work place. He’s even gotten so used to it he doesn’t even take himself seriously anymore! How can he expect anyone else to?
It’s a vicious circle I tell ya.
So much of my social anxiety was created by men and how they approach me. I’ve always been made very aware of how they view me physically and it has left me overly conscious and very hard on myself regarding how I look. The anticipation, the excruciating embarrassing wait as I notice him judging my appearance before some disgusting comment or touch that I feel I’m obligated to laugh off as something I secretly am flattered about and want to hear. I often start blushing from discomfort before it’s even made. Aaaand, fyi, I’m saving your ass from an awkward situation by not creating a scene, as everyone else clearly sees that this is inappropriate for this setting. Which makes the whole situation so much worse.
I’ve gotten so used to feeling without power or influence in these situations. And I’m so angry that it’s become a part of my identity. How I measure myself. It makes me wonder.. if I look like shit one day, will you point that out loud as well? Can you respect me in a tight dress? Are you even fucking listening? If I set boundaries and get mad at you will you still want me as a friend, am I no longer “cool”? Will I still be a part of the team? This workplace?
I know it might seem I’m only insecure or paranoid. But I’ve been proven right so many times. I’ve now started pitying these men. What they’re missing out on; Innovative, FUNNY, resourceful and kind women. Because I promise you, we hate you and wouldn’t want to spend one minute more with you than we have to. Let alone waste our treasures with you.
I don’t always do things because it makes me look desirable you know. And you’ve made me seek that.
So, I jump on this particular hashtag-wagon to say that I understand the magnitude of this and stand by all (mostly women) who’s been shaped and affected in a negative way by how they’ve been treated by the opposite sex in the wrong place at the wrong time (in the appropriate setting everyone appreciates a compliment). Be that if you’ve been sexually approached at work, catcalled, made uncomfortable, lost self-respect and dignity, felt degraded, forced sexually or just plainly felt that your main attribute was your looks.
Here’s a photo to make me look less of a victim, and to say that I look down on you and I will eventually end up more powerful than you.
Imagine being in LA or Washington where people are always protesting and by protesting I mean marches fights robbery etc. it truly makes one not give a damn and it’s not necessarily media’s fault but one selves action as I seen it first hand but either way people should always be treated with respect unless proven other wise 🙂
I try to treat all people with respect, I’m not the kind of man who would would catcall or rudely comment on someone’s appearance, hell I have self-image issues of my own. I’m not one to play games with peoples feelings and it bothers me to no end that women have had to put up with this kind of constant low level and sometimes even overt harassment.
What bothers the most is that girls have grown into women so used to it, they have this perception of men as predators and creeps; there’s times I’ve merely greeted a woman to be answered with “I have a boyfriend” or something else dismissive. Isn’t that awful? To be that defensive that any interaction with a male is somehow sexually oriented?
You can’t just stop the whole human race and have a sit down and a chat but as a culture these kind of divides are commonplace, it’s so sad. We desperately more communication, and as awkward and cringe inducing as some of these campaigns are maybe they do get some people thinking.
Yes.. I definitely see your point. Always start with fresh papers when meeting someone new. Assume they’re the good ones 🙂 But I understand though. It’s like racism. Takes a long time, and a loooot needs to happen before this will be okay again.
# me too… and just about every other female I know has had reason to relate to this… yes it is very sad and yes I think it will be a very long time before things change for the good. I know not all men are like this.. the conversations are what we all need.. along with mindfulness, more respect more compassion and understanding for each other.. less navel gazing (although that can be a healthy pastime occasionally!), more awareness of what’s really going on! 🙂🙂🙂
Too true. I know, right.. Almost everyone. But the conversation has started 🙂