I wanted to write to you on something that wasn’t public…if this is, then I guess I just don’t care.
I have just seen your instagram post and I can’t help but be affected by how you feel. I always think that I had a lovely childhood, in a normal family and that’s how it stayed. I then remember that it all changed when one of my big brothers killed himself, although no one will ever really know if he wanted to die. He was the brother that loved me the most and it was him who I ran to when I was scared, or woke up in the night. A teenager having his baby brother jump into his bed in the middle of the night couldn’t have been the best thing.
He was 31 when he died and left a baby and a 3 year old, with different mothers. He adored them all. I had my own pain, witnessed my parents’ pain and my other brother’s pain, who was only a year older. My dad was furious that he didn’t leave a note, explaining why. We will never know why and we will never know if anyone could have helped.There were never any signs that he needed help. I survive believing that I couldn’t have helped and that he really wanted to die. Many people think that suicide is selfish and the cowards way out, but in lots of cases I think it is a brave thing to do and must take great courage.
Then 4 years ago my 79 year old dad hanged himself…and didn’t leave a note! I think he must have done that on purpose. My normal life hasn’t been so normal, although I keep finding other people who have suicide in their lives. 2 weeks ago one of my best friend’s son jumped in front of a train. He should definitely have been saved. He was being ‘cared for’ by the government…evidently not very well.
I hate the thought of people having the pain that I felt (for myself and those around me)…which you seem to, so it makes me sad too. I’m pleased that you sharing your story has helped others…I assume that’s why you said what you did? So, I don’t know if you wanted to hear other people’s stories, or not? I am the person who had a confused face…I guess I really am. My intention, in writing to you, was to somehow make you feel a bit better. I guess I need to say something positive/profound/funny before it’s too late?
It’s good to be sad. It makes being happy, feel so much better. I am nearly always happy and silly and generally not at all serious….and it might be because sadness has been so close by. If I do feel sad, alcohol helps.
Hi Keith,
I’m so honored and glad you chose to write me. Thank you for that <3
I am so very sorry for your losses. That's a LOT to deal with. Putting it in writing is very courageous of you. And I'm so happy (not happy, but..) that you're sharing my feelings regarding suicide. They probably didn't see any other way, and you couldn't have done anything. At least it's worth nothing thinking back on. Let's hope they died at peace with their decision.
Love and happiness is stronger when we've experienced great pain. I know I am a better person who appreciates life more because of it. And it sounds like you are too. I feel love for you, Keith. You're very strong and I'm positive that your brother's proud of you and thought of you as he made his decision.
Hope you are still close with the rest of the family?
I AM dualistic way so sad for both of You ~ Keith and Viktoria. You are so beautifully brave hearts when You both have courage to talk these sensitive things, which have changed Your lives… It helps and comforts me really much when I read this blog. I think You are gifted but most of all ~ real honest cut the bullshit ~ writer, which why I honestly think that Your blog is best and most interesting blog that I have ever read. Ps. Love You both so incredibly much
🔮💖🌅✨💞🔥🌹🔥💞✨🌅💖🔮
Moi (“Hi” in finnish),,,, I just wanted to say that You are beautiful kind soul,,,, maybe in other sircumstances we could be good buddies (it would be very nice),,,, I like Your warm whimsel sassy kind essence of Your soul and Your personal classy but unique style and witty humour and basically everything in You. I like All in the Aksnes family,,,, It is so foolish and stupid, but maybe because finnish (sport)media of crap magazines (and maybe also norwegian), that those cynical journalists try to tell us finnish and norwegian (soul and heart) friends (which we truly in the bottom of our golden hearts are) that finnish and norwegian skibuddies are enemies, but I saw once a dream where I was skiing with You, Miranda, Birgit, Jan and Aurora and shamans in the Lappland under the Aurora Borealis,,,, Crispy winter air had blushed all our cheeks and we had noses with ‘räkä’ (sorry I don’t remember the right word in english when noses are wet) and You said to me: “Hey boy, do You wanna drink some hot chocolate with marshmellows and rainbow candy flakes” and then I blushed, because You were so extremely kind looking cute and I felt that Aurora were looking at my blushing with thin tearmist in her eyes… I said with very silent shy voice: “Thank You Viktoria for asking ~ it would be very nice”,,,, Then You smiled at me even more kindly – if that even possible – and Aurora came and kicked my ass with her ski boot and said: “Anton, You are more cry baby than Johnny Depp” – and then we all laughed :““),,,, Ps. Minä rakastan teitä kaikkia Aksnesin perheestä, mutta erityisellä romanttisella tavalla siskoasi Auroraa,,,, tosin hänellä harvoin on yhtä kaunista “Dumb and Dumber” -hair, like You had in Your childhood photo. *niisk* 😌 ~ anton <5
Hi Viktoria,
I wanted to write to you on something that wasn’t public…if this is, then I guess I just don’t care.
I have just seen your instagram post and I can’t help but be affected by how you feel. I always think that I had a lovely childhood, in a normal family and that’s how it stayed. I then remember that it all changed when one of my big brothers killed himself, although no one will ever really know if he wanted to die. He was the brother that loved me the most and it was him who I ran to when I was scared, or woke up in the night. A teenager having his baby brother jump into his bed in the middle of the night couldn’t have been the best thing.
He was 31 when he died and left a baby and a 3 year old, with different mothers. He adored them all. I had my own pain, witnessed my parents’ pain and my other brother’s pain, who was only a year older. My dad was furious that he didn’t leave a note, explaining why. We will never know why and we will never know if anyone could have helped.There were never any signs that he needed help. I survive believing that I couldn’t have helped and that he really wanted to die. Many people think that suicide is selfish and the cowards way out, but in lots of cases I think it is a brave thing to do and must take great courage.
Then 4 years ago my 79 year old dad hanged himself…and didn’t leave a note! I think he must have done that on purpose. My normal life hasn’t been so normal, although I keep finding other people who have suicide in their lives. 2 weeks ago one of my best friend’s son jumped in front of a train. He should definitely have been saved. He was being ‘cared for’ by the government…evidently not very well.
I hate the thought of people having the pain that I felt (for myself and those around me)…which you seem to, so it makes me sad too. I’m pleased that you sharing your story has helped others…I assume that’s why you said what you did? So, I don’t know if you wanted to hear other people’s stories, or not? I am the person who had a confused face…I guess I really am. My intention, in writing to you, was to somehow make you feel a bit better. I guess I need to say something positive/profound/funny before it’s too late?
It’s good to be sad. It makes being happy, feel so much better. I am nearly always happy and silly and generally not at all serious….and it might be because sadness has been so close by. If I do feel sad, alcohol helps.
keith x
Hi Keith,
I’m so honored and glad you chose to write me. Thank you for that <3
I am so very sorry for your losses. That's a LOT to deal with. Putting it in writing is very courageous of you. And I'm so happy (not happy, but..) that you're sharing my feelings regarding suicide. They probably didn't see any other way, and you couldn't have done anything. At least it's worth nothing thinking back on. Let's hope they died at peace with their decision.
Love and happiness is stronger when we've experienced great pain. I know I am a better person who appreciates life more because of it. And it sounds like you are too. I feel love for you, Keith. You're very strong and I'm positive that your brother's proud of you and thought of you as he made his decision.
Hope you are still close with the rest of the family?
xx V
I AM dualistic way so sad for both of You ~ Keith and Viktoria. You are so beautifully brave hearts when You both have courage to talk these sensitive things, which have changed Your lives… It helps and comforts me really much when I read this blog. I think You are gifted but most of all ~ real honest cut the bullshit ~ writer, which why I honestly think that Your blog is best and most interesting blog that I have ever read. Ps. Love You both so incredibly much
🔮💖🌅✨💞🔥🌹🔥💞✨🌅💖🔮
Moi (“Hi” in finnish),,,, I just wanted to say that You are beautiful kind soul,,,, maybe in other sircumstances we could be good buddies (it would be very nice),,,, I like Your warm whimsel sassy kind essence of Your soul and Your personal classy but unique style and witty humour and basically everything in You. I like All in the Aksnes family,,,, It is so foolish and stupid, but maybe because finnish (sport)media of crap magazines (and maybe also norwegian), that those cynical journalists try to tell us finnish and norwegian (soul and heart) friends (which we truly in the bottom of our golden hearts are) that finnish and norwegian skibuddies are enemies, but I saw once a dream where I was skiing with You, Miranda, Birgit, Jan and Aurora and shamans in the Lappland under the Aurora Borealis,,,, Crispy winter air had blushed all our cheeks and we had noses with ‘räkä’ (sorry I don’t remember the right word in english when noses are wet) and You said to me: “Hey boy, do You wanna drink some hot chocolate with marshmellows and rainbow candy flakes” and then I blushed, because You were so extremely kind looking cute and I felt that Aurora were looking at my blushing with thin tearmist in her eyes… I said with very silent shy voice: “Thank You Viktoria for asking ~ it would be very nice”,,,, Then You smiled at me even more kindly – if that even possible – and Aurora came and kicked my ass with her ski boot and said: “Anton, You are more cry baby than Johnny Depp” – and then we all laughed :““),,,, Ps. Minä rakastan teitä kaikkia Aksnesin perheestä, mutta erityisellä romanttisella tavalla siskoasi Auroraa,,,, tosin hänellä harvoin on yhtä kaunista “Dumb and Dumber” -hair, like You had in Your childhood photo. *niisk* 😌 ~ anton <5