I very recently, today actually, got a compliment on Instagram (poor girl, nay -young woman…, this is NOT directed at you, so many people do this, and it was wrapped up in a compliment. Which I’m grateful for <3). The comment said ‘babies’. Which was obviously meant as a complimentary remark stating that I was cute. Which she told me afterwards when I questioned it.
This was sweet of her. She saw a picture, liked it and -even bothered to take the time of her day to comment on a picture of me. I love that! Don’t get me wrong.
(Very scared now, can you tell? Of being perceived as an ungrateful bitch? Which I probably would have preferred actually over cute baby..
My problem is ‘babies’. This is not meant as ‘babe’ as you would call, I guess, a hot person..?, or that hideous name kids call each other nowadays, ‘bae’.
Now these are all gross things to call a grown human being, but you would never use these terms to describe a baby. ‘Babies’ is clearly coming from the description one would use of those small ones. You know, what we enter the world as? What we were (not anymore) when we know nothing and need attention, love, being taken care of, looked after, provided for and shielded at all times. When we were babies.
I AM A WOMAN.
Now, if you’re reading this, girl who wrote that -this is, again, not aimed at you. This is a society issue. Now, personally, I have never called someone ‘baby’ (…..), but I am guilty of using the term ‘cute’ to describe a grown-ass woman.
…
We’re grown ups. We go through great pain and grow even more up (as already grown-up women) when growing and birthing these new ones. These babies. That’s a lot of growth. We’ve worked very hard to get to that point. We’ve been educated all of our lives, from merely living. Studying, many of us. I don’t wanna be viewed as someone who pouts her lips and cries whenever my needs aren’t met. Someone beneath, smaller and more delicate than. Not to mention the sexualization we know happens of the ones underneath, emancipated, subservient in the industry and in society.
I don’t wanna be fucking cute. Nor forever-young! I don’t need to have baby-skin or sleep like a baby, because I’m NOT A BABY ANYMORE!! YOU BEAUTY INDUSTRY, YOU ! Do you know how many hours a baby sleeps a day?! I am a hard-working woman, I don’t have time or wish for that, I have ideas and shit and responsibilities to take care of. I love every year that I age, I wanna look it, feel it and be seen as it. I did that. I lived that. I earned that. I’m a woman.
I’m a warrior of life. And life is really tough! Hard enough as it is, I don’t need to walk around with people looking at me as a cute baby? How the fuck am I going to survive and be taken serious throughout this shit?!
You can call my outfits cute, I don’t really care what you call my actions or whatever.. But let’s not demean each other by calling each other what puts us lower than we really are. In work or socially, age, looks, bodies, brains -all of it.
To all women and men: today I salute the years we’ve worked for! And to the years yet to come -don’t spoil them!! We’re not babies anymore.
I really loved the 2nd to last paragraph. I totally agree likewise I’m not sure if it’s me or what but I have seen ” adults” try to push kids to be adults. I wonder, if the world is filled with adults and sins then why is it that people always rush to become an adult or make fun of others who aren’t ready and just are trying to make the world right? 🤔 #bestfrienday
I get what you’re saying. But my point was on society not addressing women accordingly to their age or position. It’s a power-thing..
Viktoria, I saw your comment further down the page about baldness. I was always told when I started loosing my hair. If you loose your hair at the back first you are a great lover, if you loose your at the front first, you are a great thinker. If you loose your hair all over, you just think you are a great lover.
Youre a great grown ass woman 💪💪
<3 And you are Alyssa! I don't know your exact age, but I would never call you a girl. Because I know you're older than twelve. Young woman perhaps?
im 19 <3 woman is correct! haha
😉
Viktoria you can’t beat a face that looks like it has been lived in. As I am of the male gender I’ve been called many things over the years, but “babe” isn’t one of them. I’m sure if I was of the female gender, being called “babe” could be classed as a put down in some circumstances. I’ve never used the term myself for my wife or any of my female friends.
Good! 😀
Pow, right in the kisser!
Metaphorically.
I’m in two minds, life would be easier if we didn’t let words hurt us, especially if they aren’t meant to. So should we not be so insulted by demeaning terms? I saw an article recently saying it wasn’t fair to call people ‘old’ if they were living active lifestyles… like ok? If you lived longer than I have I’m calling you old, who’s putting all this baggage onto certain words?
On the other side though, we should make the effort (and it is an effort, and that’s what puts people off) to use our language to empower and uplift each other. Compliment people, flatter them, support them.
I just wish it wasn’t such a minefield.
Woman is a good word though, girl gets used waaay too much. Babies though, maybe from your mother it’s ok. 😉
I get that, but this was.not.about.that!! It’s not a name-calling thing, or an assumption-thing. It’s about the signals being sent in our society about the relationship and position between men and women!
You would never call a 30 year old man a boy. But talking about a woman he recently started dating, one man might say to his buddy “I just met this girl..” Which is sending the signal that she has less power than him.
Absolutely. I mean when you do call a man a boy it’s deliberately mocking, but it’s almost normal to call a woman ‘girl’. Not arguing with you on that point. It’s just about respect. There’s still a lot of language going around that’s demeaning, like ‘you throw like a girl’. We should get past using these terms to belittle people.
I was just going a bit general with my response. I play devils advocate a lot for the sake of conversation, I got your point and support you on that. 🙂
<3
Also i have to say this here I guess since no one in my family is happy for me lol I went bald well no my technically non bald I went a 2
You went bald? That’s a sign of high testosterone levels, you know? My man also started loosing a little bit on the top, shaved it off straight away. Sexy!
Oops sorry, I meant to put this comment here not further up the page, another senior moment for me. Viktoria, I was always told when I started loosing my hair. If you loose your hair at the back first you are a great lover, if you loose your at the front first, you are a great thinker. If you loose your hair all over, you just think you are a great lover.
hahaha! I’m sure your love-making is very satisfying!
Yeah I don’t think I have any high of anything I’m still a teenager but yeah I decided to cut it short to see how people perceive me 🤔
You own it.
I’m quite sure that comment was a result of some sort of calque from another language or a simple spelling mistake and was supposed to mean sth like babes/ chicks, whatever.
Obviously it was. If you wanted to, you’d see that I wrote exactly that in the beginning of this text…..
My point is the message it sends when we as a society, don’t address women accordingly to their titles and age.
Viktoria could you pass onto Aurora a Happy Birthday from me for her 21st today, 15th June 2017. I will endeavour to sing for her later “Hurra for deg”, rather badly I fear.
🙂