When left with no choice, just survive.

I forgot to post the other day about how I experienced the Launch-day. I’m now quite over it and don’t remember nor feel the need to dwell over it. That’s something I love about myself,  my psychologist not so much. My ability to ignore, suppress and forget my emotions <3

But why linger? The launch-day was excruciating. Now it’s over and I survived. I’m so used to days like that I no longer even fear them. And what’s anxiety without fear? Just painful. Like my wedding-day! You face the fact that you can A) die. Or B) plow through. Dying seems like such a final decision, so you plow through. And most times, you’ll get through. The others you walk away from midst. That’s also fine, you’re likely to survive that too. Nothing is that important you’ll end up ruining your life because of it. Your makeup might have migrated towards your chest leaving your face all blotchy looking like a map post global warming, eyes like a chihuahua on speed, screaming like a crazy person bumping into EVERYTHING possible bumping into.. My hip is still bruised and that bump in my head I got from closing the car-door on myself just now evened out. It’s a shitty shitty thing inside you to be feeling, panic anxiety, but it will pass.

Then you sleep for many days. Stop tequilaing. Turn off your phone. Switching from lying in bed by yourself, and socializing with the people you trust from your favourite spot in the sofa in front of the tv. Treating yourself. Wearing only your softest of garments. It’s nice. Never ever feel guilty about prioritizing yourself.

I hug and forgive myself whenever I can.

I am now over that stage. And have entered the Getting back in the world again! Which I have. Twice actually. One celebratory dinner at Colonialen with the first one, then last night at Lysverket with the other one.

Not as high stamina as Pre-Fårikål, wine hitting me like it did when I was 19 (obviously didn’t have class enough to drink wine earlier than that)

,but happy.

Today I’m also doing nothing. Moving back to my parents for a couple of days. Watching a movie.

Have a peaceful Sunday. And if you can’t, you’ll survive that too. Maybe next Sunday.