I’ve been thinking a lot about what this blog really has become lately.. The fact that I’m attempting to gather my shit together in a way that makes sense to more people than myself and a couple of others who can relate because they’re going through something similar, plus not insert commas where they’re not needed and vice versa, and actually write a book about it I’ve been sent down a road where I don’t feel the need to blog at the moment. I’m writing about stuff from the very beginning as well as present which is covering all my needs for blogging, really.. So it’s starting to feel a bit whimsical and superficial, this whole thing. But that’s ok I guess. It is what it is. And I suspect it’ll mean more to me again if I ever finish the book. If it ever makes it to the shelves is a different matter. Of lesser interest.
Anyways. Without a real need to post pictures for any other reason whatsoever than to show my face I fear this is closing dangerously in on an awkwardly backgrounded, mirror selfie-taking, not very up to par fashion-blogwise blog. And will say nothing more than that these photos are from Wednesday when the lighting was good and I was in the midst of the at times very surprisingly stressful at point of near break-down process of finding out what to wear. Hence taking pictures of my options before dining out with the other one. To be clear (I just have to say this to quiet my inner sarcastic thinks-she’s-above-it-all bitch); I have absolutely no aspiration nor desire to be anything close to an influencer/fashionblog. I know my limits. To be clear.
(I actually wore this first outfit last night. On Saturday)
Not that you should care. Just, you know.. fyi. You’re obviously in here for a reason, so I figure there’s always the possibility you actually do care. I don’t wanna know btw. To be clear. I actually prefer not to get much feedback based on looks. I either feel good or bad about myself, trust me when I say that there’s nothing anybody can say to make me feel better or worse.
Unless it’s specific. Like wondering where my top is from. It’s Karen Millen. Skirt I made myself. But you didn’t ask. But I wouldn’t be upset if you did, I love to share. I just want you to know I’m not insecure about my looks, nor am I fishing for compliments.
Wow, that was a lot. But that’s what happens when I’m not writing stuff about anything emotional.. I end up writing to you instead of myself. Which is fine. It’s just not what you’re here for. More importantly it’s not what I’m here for. And I want you to know that I know that. But wait for my book! 😀
I promise tragedy and tears and laughs and connecting. I promise.
I ended up wearing a washed out turquoise dress I haven’t worn in maybe like a year because I felt sorry for it. That’s life.. Sometimes you can’t do what you really want because you have to take care of and pay attention to something neglected. Left behind.
Enjoy your Sunday! I’m paying attention to something left behind, as well as something new.
Change.. love it or hate it.
I relish it.
first superficialities, like your fringe ! but i’m not really useful in that things, unfortunately you have me anyway, that first love school thing you know… 😉
so to get more serious, sounds like you are really in a process/progress, that sounds good.. first when i found your blog i was not sure what kind of human speaks here, so like in life you must read between the lines even in such narcisstic normalised days we are living in, where
(“La trahison des images” magritte) is a nearly non thoughtable invitation, and it is good to see that you are referring to these circumstances which i thought is always a paradox thing and maybe in norway it is still another touch to be convinced and even as an attitude of rebellion to be special and not like the others then in other not scandinavian lands… remember what i try to say…. you must forget youself to become youself… today i think you are more with me ?!
i’m curious about your book, cause i can’t get this “virgin suicide” assoziation out of my mind when i saw you three looking out that old car and it is somehow like a deeper fancy that binds you three in something that happend which is never told… hope you know what i mean, like a missing mythology of three greek sisters that represents the different typs of melancholy…thats my assoziation really coppola’ish i know 😉 but may there lies something real in it… so i hope when you finished it i will get an reading test !
PS. did you receive the link ?
cheers mark
and now… happiness of melancholy… fringe’d 😉
supplement… off/topic, connecting:
you said once, that you are not musically gifted, i mean often it is the kind of entry that determs how to find a new universe…so actually with over 40 degree here in germany there is really not much you can do… but, connecting wires is one of this things… stoic, un-teleological, meditative… it’s free and absolute great.. so the heat will come again… have a try 😉
https://vcvrack.com
“We read to know we are not alone” (Mr Whistler, ‘Shadowlands’ a film starring Sir Anthony Hopkins and a Morris Minor as C.S. Lewis (C1993), you know, the chap who wrote ‘The Lion, The Which and the Garderobe’ (if memory serves me correctly)).
Well, maybe the same can be said about writing….’We write to know we are not alone’?
Although with regard to ‘Environmental Issues’, we seem to still be at ‘The Phoney War’ stage (something every self respecting Norwegian should know about) with all the growing public anxiety about not just that but all of the tectonic political changes happening and in so many ways the wheels falling off just about every World institution we believed in, there does not seem like a more important, necessary or interesting time to blog,
With regard to beauty, we have a saying in England ‘beauty is only skin deep’. I wonder if you have that saying in Norway (though it might be in Norwegian, possibly)?
So, you won’t hear me commenting about how you or anybody else looks.
Not much more I can say really without encroaching upon your prohibitions (a bit like having to avoid stepping on the cracks in the pavement as a child) other than:-
I really do enjoy your blog so much because it ……..
Viktoria, personally I really do think you look so very ……..
OK with that? 😉
Peter <3
PS. What's happening about the running?
I wanted to ask you a question… if your diagnosis is actually bipolar, then why you never seem manic?
How the f would you know?
Plus I’m on medication