When I took up running four and a half years ago after a short relapse with anorexia, I never dreamt I’d ever have a healthy relationship with working out, finding something I really loved doing. I started off running slow 20 minute runs around the neighborhood, always staying close to home doing little loops in case I’d go into a fit and start hating life and the world, to running five or six days up to 70 km a week. I’ve gotten to see my body get stronger and experienced my body as something to appreciate not only for viewing but for something that achieves and needs fueling every day in order to do so. One could say it saved me in some ways. I’d found, for the first time, a healthy way to rid myself of a lot of the emotions I’d been clinging on to for so long. I had so much anger without ever really finding ways to release. The only way I’d tried prior to it was therapy really. And therapy never worked for me. To some extent, it helped me of course. But at the end I think I’m too calculated and aware of other people’s judgement to express my true feelings about the stupid advice they sometimes give you to even bother seeking them.
From one extreme you’re more likely to move on to another. A lot of people with an eating disorder will encounter periods of restriction and perhaps excessive exercising. Personally I never went through long periods of this, but was definitely very aware of it (alongside with my family) at the beginning of my humble running career. I did however give running a lot of power. If I didn’t run for more than two days in a row it would affect my mood severely. Not that it had much to do with food intake or so much control, it just became such an important part of my identity I quickly felt frustrated and scared of going back to old habits to release the tension when I wasn’t able to. Just before my marathon in 2018 I got bad shinsplints and couldn’t run without pain followed by weeks of rest for over two years after it. Only recently the inflammation has subsided and I can now run weekly without pain. Which is amazing! But I see clearly how my goals have shifted from the last time I could run like this. I appreciate every run now. I don’t feel sad if I go a week or two without it. I just feel really, really good about the ones I do get. And that’s what makes me feel stronger than ever. Regardless of secretly wishing I had less or more of certain parts of my body, I’ve never felt more comfortable in it. Relaxed. I feel like I have finally reconciled with my body. And I can’t thank myself or the universe enough. That to me, is strength. Not being addicted beyond control. Not letting performance or frequency regulate my mood or my self-image. To appreciate what I am able to do instead of focusing on what I didn’t. My body has been stronger than it is today, no doubt about it. But I haven’t. And that kind of pride lasts way longer than the ones you get from temporary achievements.
If you like my (sponsored; because I’m such a cool person) running gear btw, it’s from https://www.stronger.no/no/
I was wondering if you were still running Viktoria, as you have not mentioned it for a while. (My curiosity has been satisfied).
Not being somebody who runs (or does any exercise) apart from to accomplish a task, I do often wonder if runners generally partake in the activity to see, smell and hear (generally sense) the outdoors or if it just boils down to using energy, exercise, mental discipline etc.
When I used to cycle, it was to see what was going on, get to somewhere nice, smell the country smells, feel the slightly damp and cool evening air upon my face. Never to achieve muscle tone or become fit or any of the criteria you mention.
Peter <3
I think anyone out alone in the nature would appreciate it in such a way
In England there seem to be a lot of grim faced, determined goal seekers who lust look straight ahead whilst running (says a lot about us English probably).
As I struggle past the local gym with a heavy shopping bag in each arm, I often encounter serious faced people crossing my path who have just spent three hours looking at a brick wall whilst pulling on a bit of steel rope or lifting heavy things up and putting them back in exactly the same place for many minutes on end (O.C.D?) and they have had to pay to do it!
An idea is forming involving me getting my shopping home easily, tea and biscuits, them not having to shell out any money and possibly leaving with a smile on their face!
Has the world gone mad or is it me?? (Don’t answer that). 😉
Peter.
I say let them do them. Nothing wrong with working out towards a goal. Again, this is a blog about me, so……. it’s just where I’m at right now
I know Viktoria. I am sure you don’t need my affirmation that you are doing very well. As my dear Irish Granny used to say disarmingly to us “Just my fun dear”. (Not referring to you as ‘dear’ just for the record).
I come from a time when there were no gymnasiums locally and people didn’t run. They had done a lot of running about in the War so they were probably tired..(‘If you hear the bell..Run like Hell’). A time to grow a beard, put slippers on, smoke your pipe and listen to the wireless. I think the men did much the same also!
Jogging came over from the States and probably took on here in the late 1980’s. I think it was much the same in Norway…..there was nobody running in Norway in the early eighties when we visited….did see a few people on elongated roller skates doing Cross Country Skiing practice though.
Running/cycling/cross country skiing,/land yachting/walking/sitting amongst beautiful scenery – What’s not to like.
And very good for the soul !
Toodle pip.
Peter 😉
You are a great motivator yet a great model lol 😍 but in all seriousness I am glad to see that my mentor has ran a marathon because I have done so the same. it does feel very relaxing and makes us somewhat stronger. I hope in the near future we’ can run not just for health but also for laughs and relaxation. Just to let you know my dose of adrenaline is actually running some random days in a cold park trail with Auroras music blasting in my ear 👂 I could use more of that anytime. I would say if you had a podcast I would definitely listen to it as well 🤷♂️
we can run for relaxation and laughs, what are you talking about? I run because I love everything about it, not to look fit
I agree with you when I run it’s for the love of it but I’m just saying the world overall it sucks how people I guess like me think we run to stay fit but in reality we do it because we can and we want to sorry if I wasn’t clear I love running as well and I’m glad you do too 👌🏻😊
Excuse me for interceding Geo.
Me, bearing the curse of the Romantic. (not the ‘candle lit dinner for two’ but the candle lit dinner with everyone and everything…seems we can’t do both); I do wonder why we set ourselves ‘goals’ when Nature has no ‘goal’s?
In Nature, if something is possible, it can happen..simple as that.
Glad you enjoy your running….maybe, being spontaneous is the answer. 😉