I am exhausted today. Feeling particularly exhausted in my bed looking out the narrow crack in my dark and heavy curtains over my second cup of coffee listening to cheers of children. Children who don’t necessarily know what they’re cheering for, I imagine. But their teachers are cheering even louder, why wouldn’t they? Long pauses followed by new waves of excitement and cowbells. Like the tide they’re rolling in as new bikes approach with cars and motorcycles as their companions. It’s such a beautiful sound. Wet pavement making this sound that almost sounds like what your mouth and tongue does when you barely open and close it rapidly.
Debating in my head whether I should peel myself off the bed, put some clothes on and start the million things I put off yesterday and swore to myself I’d do first thing, or just sleep till dark. I’m passively in this debate for a long time. Two hours gone. Three. The cheering as well. The silence so loud I can’t focus on anything, really. So I again turn to you. My friend, my hero, person who’s sick of me, my voice and sometimes (seems like) my only reason. A single tear of gratitude rolls down my cheek, to you. Surprisingly overwhelmed by gratitude for you for letting me talk to you and you for listening. I feel so much love for people today. My chest actually knots itself and it almost hurts to think of all the beautiful people. In this really difficult, beautiful thing that is life. So many stories inside all of these people and so much to learn. Tears are uncontrollable now and I think I just found the conclusion of my debate. I’m gonna get up and try, because that’s what we do.
Breakfast, no question about it. Crying over breakfast. Vacuuming. Crying like a toddler when cord gets caught up beneath the door to my living room. Fucking piece of shit cord. I’m gonna step on you, cord, tug you like a cross fitter tosses them big ropes if you don’t come fucking here right now..! A moment of telling myself to get my shit together, reminding myself of all the other shit, worse shit, going on in the world. A chuckle followed by new tears. Feeling ridiculous, wondering about all the other people feeling just as small and ridiculous as I at this very moment. I pass the mirror and see my tired eyes, realizing I actually don’t care. Refreshing.
Mom and the first one wants to take me out to the movies tonight. A joyful tear now accompanied by a smile, knowing that this day shall pass too. We’re all right.
Every single day shall pass too!!! 😉❤🍀
🙂
yes 🙂 <3
I replied twice. Now three.
That was so poetic i would hang it on my wall.
😊 i will always be here to read what you write.
❤ what movie? Was it any good?
<3 I feel your support Alyssa, really do :)
47 meters down! Bit of terror. I enjoyed it, not as cheap and tacky as shark movies usually are..
Oh ive seen it! After he hallucination i got irritated that the movie makers tricked me. 😂
I know right?? horrible.
Hmm, this all feels very familiar.
All we can do is make the best of what we have.
Strive. x
True 🙂
#goals to be able to go to the movies anytime with the family 👏👏
I am crying too now. Such beautiful words and feelings Viktoria. I too will always be here to listen and share. You are such a beautiful and heartfelt person and I am so happy that you came into my life. Definitely feeling the love! ⭐️
<3 <3 stella <3 <3
Viktoria, tusen takk. Thank you for your beautiful words, for your love and your pure way of looking at life. Sometimes we need days like those. And after all, we’re all warriors of love.
Jeg elsker deg <3
Kjærlighet!! <3
Viktoria, it gives me great comfort knowing someone 3,900 miles away (google..google..6276 km) in Norway also gets frustrated at their vacuum cleaner I will spare you the details since you know the details.
If you go to my blog, you will see it sucks. The trouble is: it’s not about me. It’s time to make it about me.
Hello, from North Carolina, Mid-Atlantic at 430 am. Please, take care.
L.Jones (intranautt)
🙂
Wrong email address for WordPress. It has been corrected. God, I hate that avatar.