All year round we have to deal with this. Especially this time of year, entering the deep dark hole of social gatherings with loved and dear ones, dreaded family members, traditional meals, treats and wheats which aaaall adds up to the enormous pressure of having a good time.
I’m not tired of hearing about it, I’m not even sick of hearing about it. I’m fucking livid.
I don’t have to go furter than my own family.. My very clever family. My wise, considerate, loving beyond reason family who’d do anything if I’d only ask them. They slip all the time in this particular issue. Not to put them on the spot or to bash any of them, but it says everything about how little people notice what comes out of their mouths and the effects it may have. How much damage it can cause.. If a persons entire life, their focus and wellbeing revolves around food and shame and fear and anxiety and self worth attached to it, words from your mouth can mean everything. So can we change the subject?
Your son, your daughter, your colleague, your friend; they hear you. They hear you bringing your negativity, your guilt, to the table. To the holiday. Your words are heard, they are affected by them, they will associate ‘it’ in some scale as a consequence to your words. Your words may be the words that sets someone off into very dangerous behavior. You don’t want to do that.
I hear on a weekly basis people with new ideas. Resolutions, convictions, goals, when it comes to diet. Not all of them about loosing weight, I must stress, “strong is the new skinny” etc.: whatever, but all of them nonetheless theories about how to become better at eating (?whatever that means?), by doing so and so. In that order. At that given time of day. On those days. In that given ratio. Be that a theory heard through a friend who’s hair in fact suddenly became longer and thicker, more shiny with no split ends, changed color and size, moved and started a new life of its own, just by eating a handful of almonds and ten to fifteen avocados a day. Or through a friends friend on a different continent, an idol in the shape of a Hollywood star (who’s life is all about looking a certain way btw, I mean common), the newest trend from an article in a women’s magazine written by someone who’s definitely positively not a nutritionist, a documentary, the leftover tea leaves at the bottom of their tea cup.., or simply the fact that they’re pisces.
And they’re all (the theories) mostly about elimination. That is, most of the times, what’s revolutionary and groundbreaking about their theories. We all know by now that salmon and colourful foods found outside Made In Mother Earth called vegetables (god forbid fruits) are good for us; we get it and we’re ignoring you for telling us, again. But the rest of your theories coming out of most of your mouths dressed up as facts are about elimination. Eliminating huge food groups from your diet because they’re bad for you. Not good enough. A silent killer, in fact. Oats aren’t good for you. Dairy. Eggs. Meat. Sugar. Fats. (butter and oil). Starch. Coffee. The air we breathe and the size of our plates. Eliminating. Scaling down.
We don’t wanna hear more about it. Your kids don’t wanna hear about it. Your partner doesn’t wanna hear about it. As a person who has friends, I speak for all of us when I say: Your friends don’t wanna hear about it! Instagram is removing our fucking likes on our accounts (I mean seriously how will we know who our true friends are from now on?) because of cyberbullying and insecurities in younger (and older of course, you suffer too and we all sympathize. even if you’re old.) people being damaged mentally and physically from the peer pressure of being popular and successful by acting and looking a certain way. Unless…! you’re one of the brave. I’m so sick of hearing the word brave used as a description for being, acting and looking like a totally normal person.
Walking out the door… that is brave. Choosing life, every day, is brave. Trusting is brave. Loving is brave. Planning a future, getting an education, applying for a job, moving, moving on, standing up for yourself, standing up for others, following your inner treasures when no one thinks you should, developing skills you don’t know where to begin on, becoming a parent, choosing not to become a parent.. There are a lot of brave actions we as humans do. Looking like one is not one of them.
Sugar’s not the only thing that’ll kill you, you know… Plenty of other ways to go. How about loneliness? Stress. Worrying. Lack of education. Sleep. Intimacy. Carols. Antibiotic resistant bacterias. Climate. fucking. change… Eat the sandwich. Enjoy the gingerbread cookie. Minced pie, whatever you eat at Christmas. Or don’t. Just shut up about it. Use your energy elsewhere. If you don’t have a serious health problem you can only solve by diet I suggest you take your plans, schedules and complaints elsewhere. We don’t wanna hear about it. And if you don’t notice yourself talking negatively about food; try harder. Have a conversation amongst yourselves that you’ll all remind each other to speak nicely about our friend Food. Mr. Nutrition and Mrs. EnJoy.
Or hang a fucking poster on your fridge, forehead. I don’t care. Just change the subject.
Please.
It’s Christmas.
