That was the best day I’ve had in SO LONG. Wow.
I’m not getting into a lot of details about the race, but a quick summary (..) is on order.
I did manage to start slowly and really hold back the first lap (the course was the same loop twice with the start- and finish line right in the heart of Bergen city). Holding back in the beginning is crucial for long-distance runs and made me feel as fresh as strong starting my second half together with the huge group of half-marathon runners (later when my legs were fatigued and stiff I would find great pleasure in seeing them fly by me with personal record times in mind).
Continued to feel good during the long climb that makes the first quarter of the course, managed to maintain a sort of decent pace after that, slower than I wanted to.. but ok. Hit a new kind of feeling around the 35-36K mark. Which was kind of interesting and new to me. I’m a firm believer in everything I do that when it starts to hurt and I feel like giving up I’m halfway there as far as what my body can do. So this was a first for me. I actually couldn’t run faster. I do realize I should have drank more water and gotten more sugar and salts from the stations. I just always feel that I don’t need to exaggerate intake during my runs, but my blood-sugar levels might have dropped faster due to my cold -I don’t know. I had been feeling light-headed for a week so it makes sense in hindsight. Also the cold temperatures contribute to underestimating thirst and the amount you’re actually sweating. Anyways!
BORING!
I had a bit of an outer body experience towards the end watching myself from the sideline running in true marathon-runner form. I’ve seen them. Usually aged 40-60+ : legs tight, core and glutes really engaged, arms close to torso, shorter quicker strides saving energy everywhere it can be saved. I suddenly felt older and wiser thinking to myself that time doesn’t matter. At that point I was just excited about the fact that I would soon finish my first marathon. I also started visualizing myself standing at the start line next year knowing all too well I’d forget this pain the minute I finished. Which also pissed me off a bit tbh as I wanted to run faster but couldn’t. Craving more pain than I was already in. I’m accustomed to enduring some physical pain and don’t really fear it because I know it’s so temporary. But for the first time I didn’t have a final sprint in me! Which is kind of amazing. It means I gave whatever I had in me that day and I can’t be anything but super proud of that.
Finishing at 4:19:54 I know I can do better though. I run faster than that, but it’s fine. No need to get greedy Viktoria, it’s not a good look.
I’m also realizing I still have a bit of a cold, which doesn’t make me less proud as I know sickness makes your body perform less than usual. I can’t wait for next year. I definitely have a time to beat and I’m hungry for more.
One of the other many reasons this was the best day in a long time was the people. The amount of pride I felt for everyone racing was unbelievable. Even the ones pushing through nudging everyone in their way. Followed by a quick turn of their heads with a little hand gesture followed by an annoyed but accepting nod by the receiver. Like a car blinking to the other driver after forgetting to signal before a turn to say “thank you” and “sorry” at the same time.
Each of us with a good reason to run. Each with a goal in mind. Each an internal struggle that makes the will to push through the signals your body is sending you asking you to stop. The body doesn’t really like long-distance running. It’s just not made for it and get into all sorts of damage because of it. Still, there we were. Thousands of people alone together with one thing in mind. Win over our bodies and get to that finish-line. Many people do it as a sport and competition. But running still is and will always be a lonely sport that can only be driven and achieved by one person. This feeling brought a tear to my eye mid-race and reminded me to look up and smile to the supporters along the way cheering their parents, daughters and sons, siblings, lovers and colleagues on. That of course all went to shit at some point and got replaced with an attempted smile that probably looked more like a sad clown towards the end.
As a conclusion I need to remind myself that a runner almost never have a perfect run. Be that on your daily morning-run or on race day. A knee acting up, the lower back, lack of sleep, sickness, stress and shortness of breath, stress in general, lack of motivation, weather, too much clothes, injuries, worn out shoes, cramps, blisters, phone battery dying leaving you without music, dehydration, low blood-sugar levels.. The list is endless. And now, post marathon, (that’s my life now, a new life and a new me because I ran a marathon and that’s me now, left feeling a little bit without a goal in life atm wanting the day all over again) I need to focus more on other stuff again. Work. Love-life. Wine.. Aaaand (wait for it..) running!
Because those days when you’re blessed by the Universe and get a run in close to perfect conditions and with perfect form.. Those runs are like nothing else and keeps you going until you find it again.
(For me that is, a humble marathon runner)
Oh I really love this post Viktoria! I related so much to it. I did my first half marathon 18 months ago and experienced so many similar things… the feeling of my body just not responding any more… not being able to push out any more speed, the gratitude and love towards the crowd who are supporting you in a very lonely quest and the awareness that we (the running people) all have a personal reason to be reaching a goal and ignoring the body’s plea’s to stop. Not to mention the surprising amount of knowledge you realise you’ve acquired about running physiology (and the awareness that non-runners find this very boring), and the lack of perfection of any run… the sheer number of things that can and do go wrong (blown-out hip for me…) but the memorable kindness of other runners stands out (one gave me a panadol from her running pouch as I limped/ran which I had to eat as I didn’t have any water at that point – yuk!) ….yet the heart-bursting joy and pride of finishing and realising what you’ve just done which lasts for days….ah such good feelings. You’ve made me re-live my experience and now I want to sign up for the actual marathon where I bet the feelings are even more intense 🙂 Thank you for the post and well done on such a terrific achievement!
Go for it!
So happy for you it became a positive experience!! I recently tried running around the block on a cold morning with my partner leading, before sunrise (so no-one could see my struggling half asleep body)! I actually felt a sense of accomplishment and had a lasting burst of energy and clarity that day. I am struggling however, to go for another run (the mornings are freezing now). Regardless, your fantastic account of your experience running a marathon, has made me want to try again. 😀
If you don’t want to, don’t run
Brave, brave, brave….!
A long term work colleague just ran in the hottest London Marathon ever and talking the week before, I know he was morbidly dreading the heat……..he very bravely took part despite this and finished. (He also raised quite a bit more than his target money for a charity I believe in, as well).
You all have my deep admiration on so many counts!
(Makes my proposed ‘garden marathon’, felling monster weeds in my vegetable patch with a chainsaw (exaggeration) this weekend look a bit tame)!
A charity for you next year do you think Viktoria?
Congrats on your successful run I did the same in the heat in the LA marathon 2017 but I imagine how different it would’ve have been without your sisters music in my ears #AuroraAksnesforever#wakandaforever#warrioir
Hell Yeah!!!! I’m more proud that you went out among all those people and faced down the fear than finishing the marathon. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy you finished and 4.19’s not too shabby either. Me I’ve got this love hate relationship with running did a hell of alot of it in military service. Try 16.06 km carrying 22.5kg in loose beach sand oh and by the way don’t leave anyone behind if they can’t run carry them too. There’s the hate part. P.S. Your arms look fine.
I’ve hiked longer than that with 20 kg on my back. And I didn’t ask you about my arms
Tread softly because we tread on other’s dreams.
‘Amor vincit omnia’.
(Sorry Mr Yeats).
Now whenever you feel weak you can look at your medal and be like, “I did that.” Because weak people don’t run marathons.